Who does Death Grip Syndrome affect

Death Grip Syndrome might be the answer to some of your sex based anxieties. Ever been with a partner who is packing a prize package, and they're playing hard to please, but only when you're the co-star in their steamy scenes? And hey, fellow member-owner, ever pondered why the grand finale takes its sweet time when you're on a romantic rendezvous, but it's a speedy solo sprint?

The answer might just be within your… grip.

As someone who has a penis and works in Sexual Health Retail, I get this question all the time, partners of a penis owner asking me, “Why can’t I make him cum” or “ he comes when I give him head but when it’s penis in vagina sex or even anal sex, he just can’t get there, what am I doing wrong”. This is super common and more so among young people. This is discouraging for both partners and feeds into anxieties and insecurities, luckily it is easily treatable.

First things first, if you are contemplating whether your choices are the culprit behind the pleasure puzzle, to clarify; if you’re thinking “maybe I'm not attracted to my partner” or something like this, take a breather—it's not your fault! More often than not, the culprit is something called 'Death Grip Syndrome.' Turns out, it's not a mystery flaw, but a little quirk in the way we handle solo sessions.

What is Death Grip Syndrome?

So firstly we need to be clear, the evidence for Death Grip Syndrome is anecdotal, and there is no officially recognized medical condition however; recommended treatment options seem to be working for many of the reported sufferers, so there might just be something to it. To break it down further, that tight squeeze could be the reason behind some climax challenges when the spotlight is on more than just you and your hand.

What is really happening here? Well, some theories suggest that an over-enthusiastic grip can actually cause nerve damage to the penis making it less sensitive. This seems a little far-fetched if you ask me. Others suggest that it’s the actual frequency of masturbation, in other words, you are masturbating too much, which as we all know is just ludicrous right? I have even seen some articles trying to blame your porn habits, and well this is a little closer to the mark, however, let us put down the torches and pitchforks for a second to uncover the potential truth of the matter.

So what does cause Death Grip Syndrome?

The best explanation I have seen is that Death Grip Syndrome is more of a neurological issue than a physiological issue. Put simply, if you masturbate with a strong grip too often, then you eventually rely on the strong grip to get you over the line, you become reliant on that heavy stimulation. The vagina or the anus is just not strong ("tight") enough to replicate that feeling and that is why you are having trouble climaxing with your partner.

This can in turn lead to performance anxiety, and yes sexual performance anxiety can work both ways. Some people have anxiety about climaxing too soon and others have the opposite problem. Mostly if you are focusing on something specific that’s probably what you’re gonna get. Performance anxiety is a whole other topic which you can read more about here and we might do some more articles on that topic in the future!

How to treat Death Grip Syndrome.

Have More Sex!

Well you might actually like this one… My best recommendation for treating DGS is to have more sex than masturbation! Yup, it’s that simple. You can recover fairly quickly if you just chill on the masturbation a bit and just have more sex with your partner! Eventually, things will balance out and you’ll find that you gain more control when with your partner than alone. And it never hurts to spice things up a bit, more foreplay and some sexy/dirty talk during sex might help you get back on the climax train.

Use a Fleshlight:

This doesn’t suit every situation, you might not have a regular sex partner or they might have a lower libido than you. Using A Fleshlight when masturbating is a really great way to avoid that strong grip. It is important that if you are using a masturbator that you avoid soft cup or “sleeve” strokers, and get something with a hard case like the traditional Fleshlight. The hard case is what is going to stop you from squeezing.

Loosen your grip or using the other hand.

Drastically changing the way you stroke your penis is going to be a massive help with DGS, using another hand or changing the direction you grip your penis can improve things. At first, it might take a little longer than usual and you’ll be tempted to switch back, but trust me, stay the course and you’ll start to see results! Change only happens with consistency. 

Use lube.

This is pretty much my recommendation for EVERYONE. Lube is the best because it is one of the most impressive “cure-alls” our industry can offer. It makes sex and masturbation better and more enjoyable in every way, not just because it helps to increase sensitivity. But more importantly, lube is going to help you soften that grip and be more mindful when masturbating. It's also going to provide more of a vagina-like/lubed anus-like feeling that can help you re-acclimate to vaginal/anal sex.

All in all, Death Drip Syndrome is VERY treatable and if you follow at least two of these steps you should start seeing results within a matter of weeks! If this issue persists however, it is important to seek medical attention to address the root causes of your distress. You might even like to speak to a sexual therapist, in Adelaide we recommend Relate Sexology otherwise you can find a list of accredited sexual therapists on the Society Of Australian Sexologists website.