What is Steak and Blowjob Day? 

Steak and blowjob day is controversial, a meme, not well known, often not taken seriously, and is a celebration that does not get the attention I know it should. You might be asking yourself, what is it? Why should I care about the meat on my plate and the meat in his pants on the same day? How does one celebrate? All these questions and more will be answered below. As an avid celebrater of Steak and Blowjob Day for 6 years now, I know that it is time to lift the lid on a relationship’s best-kept secret. Kind of like having two blankets in bed, so your partner cannot steal all of them, separate celebrating each other, so that everyone feels an equal share of the love.

...among the greatest pleasures that life has to offer.

How did it start?

Starting as a bad joke on a radio show in the late 90s, and morphing into an online meme, Steak and Blowjob Day has been acknowledged around the globe. England, Germany, America, France and Spain have all acknowledged the concept in their own ways, and mostly it is American publications who take offence to the concept, viewing it as a misogynistic problem. For some the celebration’s point has moved to the hedonistic focus of good food and sex. Many people might argue that these two things are among the greatest pleasures that life has to offer. In Japan, they have White Day, also occurring annually on 14 March. White Day is an innocent custom only formed over the last few decades, marking a day when Valentine’s gifts are reciprocated. So with that point in mind, I argue that Steak and Blowjob Day is the Western World’s version of a reciprocal Valentine’s Day. And why shouldn’t everyone have an opportunity to feel loved and celebrated? If you’re concerned that Valentine’s is too commercialised and lacks the panache and humour of SBJ Day, then stay tuned for April when we cover Cake and Cunnilingus Day. If none of this appeals to you, then the solution is easy… just don’t get involved. 

What is the point of celebrating Steak and Blowjob Day?

In my relationship at least, we cherish opportunities to connect as a couple, and what may be a bawdy, internet joke for some, is an opportunity for us to have some fun together. Every year my husband makes efforts to plan something fun, unique and romantic for me on Valentine’s Day. One year we watched “The Book of Mormon” at the theatre and had a lovely dinner. Another year he made a charcuterie board of my favourite foods and watched my favourite movies, giving me foot massages for hours. In this context, we, a childless, mid-thirties couple, are using opportunities to connect physically, mentally and emotionally and to enjoy our lives. Do we need an excuse to do this, no, but much like Christmas, the pageantry of it is part of the fun. It feels important to note, that in our relationship space, none of these things are expected from each other. Expectation ruins the magic of connecting as a couple, these things are created from a place of love, not the desire to boast about them on Instagram. 

Expectation ruins the magic of connecting as a couple...

Probably the point of celebrating things like this is to strengthen the bond in a relationship. These aren’t acts of love that I would expect a casually dating couple, or teenagers, to become involved with, this day is for established couples who are looking for ways to introduce more bonding opportunities, and maybe a little more humour into their love life. Setting aside time for intimacy as a couple is part of supporting a healthy relationship together. 

How do you celebrate?

Celebrating Steak and Blowjob Day is as simple as grabbing a few steaks, enjoying a good meal together, then topping it off with an oral dessert. This, of course, is the most basic concept of the day, but the options are endless. For couples who are Vegan, pescatarian, or maybe who have another favourite meal that they would prefer to enjoy, there are no rules. My husband happens to enjoy a good steak dinner, some years we have enjoyed a meal at a local restaurant, other years I select something from the butcher and cook us a homemade treat. This day is a type of food ritual centred on connecting within a relationship, something all healthy relationships can benefit from. The only rules for celebrating this day together are one is to enjoy a delicious meal, the second is to partake in whatever intimate fun suits the people involved. Setting aside time for intimacy and making an effort to connect in your relationship is different to demanding and expecting sexual favours. Sex should never be an expectation, as I mentioned earlier, when you expect unreasonable things in a relationship, you ruin the magic of connecting.

... couples who are looking for ways to introduce more bonding opportunities...

Some people may argue here that enjoying sex or intimacy of any kind is difficult after a meal… If you want to enjoy basting your partner’s sausage prior to tenderising his steak, you enjoy it your way. Rare or medium, salmon or beef steak, there are no hard and fast rules, only suggestions as to how you might enjoy a nice meal and some quality time with your significant other.

With the world constantly complaining about Hallmark holidays shouldn’t we be celebrating things that aren’t centred on consumerism? Steak and Blowjob Day is an opportunity to connect through simple acts of kindness. Cooking a meal, or finding a nice restaurant doesn’t have to be an expensive exercise, rather it can be an opportunity to show love, care and affection. How you celebrate things in your life and your relationships is your business, not anyone else’s, and vice versa. In my life, and my relationships, we choose to celebrate each other regularly, and meaningfully.