What Should I Expect at Swingers Parties?
Okay, so you’ve decided to start swinging. Where do you start? Who should you talk to? Where is there? All good questions. Starting can look however you want, it might be looking at apps or websites to find a third or another couple. Apps/websites like adultmatchmaker or redhotpie are often used for this purpose and to a lesser extent tinder. It also might look like events and parties.
I know a few people who have met a few couples they like and then have held parties at their house with these specific people.
I also know people who have headed into swingers parties run by a business and there are those who like keeping it behind closed doors with just a few people. All are equally valid ways to include swinging in your life. So let’s dive into what you might encounter if you try out a swinging party.
What you should find if you decide to go to a swingers party is a clean, safe and inclusive environment. You will be able to mingle with people, have a few drinks and get comfortable. The normal dress code for these parties is “less is more” that generally means lingerie for those that identify as female and underwear or suit pants etc for those who identify as male. But this can swing and be what you feel comfortable with and what you identify with. They also sometimes do themed nights like superheros or cowboys etc, it’s fun to get into the themed nights too sometimes.
There won’t just be a line of women lining up for you and you can just have your pick, no, you mingle and find people you like and like you back. You then can move up to the bedroom areas and move on from there.
There will be access to condoms and lube and you will be expected to change the sheets after.
There are usually public areas and private areas to play in so it’s up to you who, where and when etc. There will be a shower and towels if wanted too. You can then rejoin the party or choose to leave.
These events are typically BYO drinks, some supply soft drinks but not alcohol. You are normally allowed to drink but not to excess, remember you still have to behave yourself and somebody might be needed to drive home. Drugs are not welcome at these organised events. You will be barred from future events if drinking or drugs become an issue at an event.
What you shouldn’t ever feel is pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do, you shouldn’t feel unsafe or like this feels sleezy at all. I have been to an ex swingers party hosted in Adelaide and I thought everything looked a bit dirty, I didn’t feel safe and just didn’t want to be there… so I left, I was only there for an hour because I wasn’t happy to stay any longer. The next day I addressed these concerns with the people running it, unfortunately they didn’t deal with any of these concerns I had. Luckily they closed down before I heard anything go wrong there. But this serves as an example of what you shouldn’t feel going into an event and what to look out for.
Adelaide does have a premiere swingers party in The Rabbit Hole. The people who run it are long term swingers themselves, so they know what they would want out of these parties. They also understand and accommodate all sexualities, genders and they prioritise sexual health and safety. They have consent workshops to make sure people are informed and they are easy to approach if you have any questions, issues or concerns; either online messaging or in person. Really that’s the way it should be.
No matter if you decide to invite a couple people around, have a small group around for a party or if you head into an organised event, just remember to be safe and remember consent and you all will have a good time.
