Hi All, how are you feeling today? Let’s talk about ADHD and Sexuality. 

Did you know that ADHD is quite common? But How does ADHD Affect Sexuality? Currently, an estimated 1 million Australians live with ADHD (May et al., 2023), a neurodevelopmental condition causing hyperactivity, impulsiveness, inattention, and emotional dysregulation (American Psychiatric Association, 2022). It’s often a lifelong condition with onset before age 12 (May et al., 2023), and individual symptoms differ. There are three categories of ADHD: attention deficit disorder (ADD), which is predominantly inattention, hyperactivity, and ADHD, a combination of the two (American Psychiatric Association, 2022).

People living with ADHD suffer poorer social skills, endure academic difficulties and have a harder time completing tasks. These traits do not necessarily disappear in adulthood and can cause relationship issues, work performance, and even loneliness (Smusz et al., 2024). Although there is no cure for ADHD, treatments and therapies help with the symptoms (Hua et al., 2020). Pharmacological interventions inhibit some of the more severe symptomatology, and adherence to these medications improves impulsivity, inattention and social skills (Hua et al., 2020).  

ADHD and Sexuality 

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), sexual relationships are part of health and wellbeing (WHO, 2024), in line with their definitions of sexual health. Sexuality is a positive, healthy expression of oneself, and therefore, sexual satisfaction and relationships are also part of achieving quality of life.

Romantic (and sexual) relationships are part of life, and a healthy relationship can provide protective factors and promote healthy development, including helping in forming positive relationships with peers, healthy romantic relationships and diminished mental ill health in adulthood (Wymbs et al., 2021). On the other hand, poor-quality relationships have been demonstrated to promote substance and alcohol use, violence in relationships, and an inadequate script for relationships (Walters & Borus, 2020). So, let’s take a look at how does ADHD affect sexuality.

Magic Wand Rechargeable

$249.95

The Magic Want Australia The Magic Wand‚® Rechargeable consistently sits atop reviewers‚ and mainstream publications‚ lists of best vibrators. Named best overall‚ by the New...… read more

Romantic Relationship Impacts

Adults with ADHD have lower-quality romantic relationships, more relationship failures, higher incidences of intimate partner violence (IPV) as perpetrators or victims, and earlier sexual initiation (Smusz et al., 2024). Whether we realise it or not, the social skills learned among peers during childhood, lacking in adolescents with ADHD due to being ostracised or ignored by non-ADHD peers, are the building blocks to healthy, positive romantic relationships (Walters & Borus, 2020).

Further, the greater the symptoms, the greater the romantic impairments, as individuals with ADHD are less likely to put effort into intimacy upkeep (Walters & Borus, 2020), which can leave partners feeling unloved and with less relationship satisfaction (Soldati et al., 2020). These feelings can, in turn, engender a loss of physical intimacy (Pera & Robin, 2016). Indeed, non-ADHD spouses of adults with ADHD report feelings of resentment towards their spouse due to what is perceived as a lack of emotional support and disorganisation, which have been shown to contribute to higher rates of divorce (Walters & Borus, 2020). 

Moreover, with fewer skills in conflict resolution due to fewer social interactions during childhood and adolescence, people with ADHD may resort to more negative resolution patterns and be more aggressive than their peers, which may actually be due to childhood peer rejection (Soldati et al., 2020). Individuals with ADHD have less emotional regulation and communication skills, which may translate into verbal and physical displays of abuse when angry (Walters & Borus, 2020). 

Finally, while male adolescents with ADHD report their first sexual initiation on average two years earlier than their non-ADHD peers, males with and without ADHD do not overly differ once they reach university age (Rokeach & Wiener, 2014). 

Sexual Health Impacts

Research has shown that sexual problems are common in adults with ADHD (Soldati et al., 2020). These issues range from hypersexuality to sexual dysfunction. 

Hyperactive ADHD adults have been shown to seek immediate gratification, which can translate to higher sexual drive. Indeed, they report thinking about sex more often, masturbating more and having a higher sex drive than most (Kooij, 2018). These adults may be considered hypersexual. 

In contrast, sexual dysfunction is the inability to respond or experience pleasure during sexual activity (Soldati et al., 2020). Inattentive ADHD adults tend to have more sexual dysfunction as they are easily distracted and less focused. One study found that the most common dysfunctions in men with ADHD were problems orgasming and premature ejaculation, whereas women with ADHD experienced orgasm dysfunction and arousal issues (Bijlenga et al., 2018). Whilst these may be symptoms of the disorder and potentially the medication, sexual dysfunction can exacerbate low self-esteem, cause distress, and non-compliance to medication adherence, exacerbating symptoms (Soldati et al., 2020). 

Moreover, greater symptoms were related to greater risky sexual behaviour (RSB) (McQuade, 2019), including unprotected sexual practices, more sexual partners than non-ADHD peers, and increased risky sexual activities under the influence of substances and alcohol. Substance and alcohol use further disinhibits users, promoting poor decision-making and increasing further RSB (McQuade, 2019).

Jo H2O Original Lubricant

$69.95

JO H2O Original, our most versatile (and best-selling!) formula, truly sets the standard for water-based lubricants. Its sensual, comforting glide and silky-smooth feel are perfect...… read more

2OZ - $17.95 4OZ - $26.95 8OZ - $39.95 16 OZ - $69.95

Where are the advantages?

I know, I know, it feels like a lot of negativity, and honestly, I could relate to sooooo many of these issues, as a person who lives with people with ADHD and as someone who’s never been diagnosed but is 99% sure she has ADHD. Yep, I could see a whole lot of me in there. But having ADHD is also a gift! For sure, there are challenges, but there are also so many incredible opportunities and advantages. 

Spontaneous Sex

People with ADHD tend to be spontaneous and enthusiastic (Wymbs et al., 2021). Yep, that impulsivity and need to fidget can also translate to some serious creativity, energy and spontaneity. So, when it comes to a partner thinking outside of the box, sexually speaking, that could actually be a really good thing; no one wants boring and predictable in the boudoir! Know what I mean? 😉

Hyperfocus on romance and love. 

People with ADHD are known to have what is referred to as hyperfocus when they are deeply interested in something, which can basically translate to intense focus and attention on the partner or the activity or both. (Wymbs et al., 2021). Now, I admit that could be a good or a bad thing, but if you’re needy like me and require someone to show you their affection all the time, it’s a win-win. Invested in the relationship, focussed on pleasing their partner. Seriously, imagine someone so focused on providing pleasure that they are hyper-focused. Yeah, I’ll just let that thought simmer.  

More then Healthy Libido

Let’s look at the enhanced sexual desire part. Honestly, I’m not seeing this as a problem, AT ALL! But that could just be me. But all I see is that increased sexual drive would mean a more active and hopefully satisfying sex life. And if you’re reading this blog, I think it’s safe to assume that you’re also pro a more active and satisfying sex life. 

Empathy as a super power

Finally, people with ADHD may actually be more adaptable and resilient than their non-ADHD peers. They’ve had to be as they’ve developed coping mechanisms to deal with their challenges and sometimes even mask their ADHD. This skill leads to a heightened ability to adapt to changes and pivot. They may develop a stronger sense of empathy due to their own experiences, which translates into a desire to connect with others, leading to deeper and more meaningful relationships. 

Conclusion; (How Does ADHD Affect Sexuality)

ADHD is the most common neurodevelopmental disorder. People with ADHD have more difficulty deciphering social cues and often encounter issues in their relationships. The literature shows that adults with ADHD encounter more sexual problems. Chances are you know someone living with ADHD, or you do. Did any of this resonate with you? Could you relate the same way I could as I typed this? 

Let me know in the comments section below what your thoughts are or if I missed anything.  

In the meantime, stay healthy and curious! 😊