Shower sex is that one thing that we have either all tried, or have wanted to try. And to be fair, the movies do make the mixture of water and naked skin look delicious. Yet for many of us who have tried shower sex, it has not been the experience we hoped and dreamed. Sadly playing hanky panky in water can be dangerous, and at times, complicated, however, as humans we are drawn to things risky to our health: extreme sports, drugs, alcohol and unprotected sex. Like all these risks to our health, through years of trial and error, people have found ways to mitigate some of the risks of shower sex, allowing everyone to find some steamy pleasure with a partner, or even alone. Whether a person has a small body or a tall one; is slender or has ample curves; if they have amazing flexibility, or need mobility aids, with some creative thinking, there are positions for everyone. 

Getting naked, wet and playful with a partner in the shower seems like a fun, accessible way to access sex and to expedite the cleaning process afterwards. Art imitates life in that we all expect our sex lives (and shower sex lives) to look as loving, glamorous and erotic as Hollywood makes sex seem. Whilst it may feel that way, from an experienced perspective, anyone who has ever tried filming their own home made videos knows that sex mostly does not look like porn or the movies. That does not mean that less conventional experiences and positions are not valid or possible, rather that sometimes planning can do wonders for your sex life. Masturbation is still a sexual act, whether by yourself, or with a partner, some hand action might be the fun your shower time needs.

sex mostly does not look like porn or the movies

Not just pre-planning time to have sex, which can greatly improve your sex life, but pre-planning what you both hope to achieve from that session - orgasm is not the only goal of sex. Maybe you or your partner are looking to increase or decrease the speed of orgasm by experimenting with new sensations, positions or situations, the goal here is improving pleasure, orgasm is just the finishing bonus. Shower sex can be a new way of exploring sensory play together, a way for a partner to feel clean and confident before sex, or just a bucket-list experience you want to tick off in life.

Mixing physical acrobatics and the slippery wetness of a shower can be dangerous. Not only that but water and natural lubrication cancel each other out, creating potential friction issues between partners. If added lubrication is a must, consider silicone based lubricants. When adding extra slippery stuff whilst in the shower, be aware of the safety implications, and where the lubricant is spreading. Put simply shower wet, wet means slippery, lube is slippery, do not slip. If your shower does not already have anti-slip decorations, adding some before embarking upon shower sex adventures is advised. Having amazing shower sex should be a great story on its own without the added part where you dislocate a shoulder, or end up needing stitches. Consider things such as differences in height and weight, physical ability, stamina, and the physical space available. Are there appropriate mobility aids that can be used to stabilise the experience? Ask yourself “Is what I want to happen physically possible in the space that I have available?” Before I continue it has to be said, none of this should be done under the influence of drugs or alcohol, please refer to previous statement regarding hospital visits.

Worried about the cleanliness of your partner’s genitals ?... The shower can be an erotic and practical way to solve this problem.

Is there a way to enjoy safe and fun sex in the shower? Step 1, start with a clean shower and two willing participants. Seriously though that depends, are you insistent on only having full, standing, penetrative intercourse in the shower? Because like the menu at your favourite restaurant, there are options. First off I will remind you that orgasm does not have to be the goal here, you can enjoy foreplay in the shower. Oral sex with water involved can be lube free fun for everyone, and being in the shower is a guaranteed way to make sure that both partners have sufficiently clean places to play with. If you are worried about the cleanliness of your partner’s genitals in general, foreplay in the shower can be an erotic and practical way to solve this problem.

Waterproof toys are also valid and fantastic tools to spice things up in the bathroom. Among the toy options are silicone toys which stick to the wall (these are NOT suitable with silicone based lubricants), waterproof vibrators and clitoral stimulators, cock rings, and masturbators. There is literally a shower friendly tool for everyone, and if all else fails, maybe you have a detachable shower head available to experiment with? The bonus about a variety of water proof toys and an open mind as to what constitutes fun in the shower, water play is accessible for a wide range of body sizes and abilities. 

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If you have a willing partner and some curiosity there are few reasons not to try some wet and steamy fun. Starting with a conversation involving both consenting parties, making a plan, or outlining some desires can lead to a whole lot of fun and connection between partners. If you are aware of the risks and do your best to mitigate them, the result can be deep connection with a partner, or squeaky clean fun with a one night stand. As long as everyone is being safe, and aware that wet showers and bathrooms are slippery places, then shower sex is good, clean fun. With so many options available to enjoy get a little wet in the shower, what will be the first thing you try? Just remember, the next time someone tells you to go and fuck yourself, you can always enjoy their advice in the shower.