So, you’ve found yourself with a partner whose dick is too big, a size dilemma below the belt. Don’t worry — you’re not alone. If your partner is packing more than you bargained for, it’s totally normal to feel a bit overwhelmed (or sore). The good news? There are some practical ways to make things more comfortable — and even more pleasurable. Let’s break it down.

I just had a young woman pop into the shop, and let me tell you — she was in a bit of a state. She’d called earlier, sounding a little panicked. The problem? Her new partner is, in her words, “the biggest dick I have ever seen” — long, thick, and just not fitting. They’d tried a few times, but it was too painful, “his dick is just too big” she said and she was at a loss.

Thankfully, her partner is apparently a “lovely man” who’s been nothing but patient and understanding (gold star for him). But she was at her wit’s end and needed answers — so she called us! After talking her through some options and strategies, she left feeling a whole lot more optimistic. Hopefully, we saved her from another round of “his dick is too big” panic.

But it got me thinking — this isn’t the first time and probably won’t the last time someone’s going to ask this question. So, here we are. This article is your guide to handling penetrative vaginal sex when the “Dick is too big”. These tips can also help with larger toys and even anal play (though that’s a whole other conversation).

Don’t put up with pain. 

You deserve better than that and if it’s painful then you aren’t feeling pleasure. Don’t put up with painful sex for someone else's pleasure!! Learn to say no, or can we try again later. Its 100% ok to do this, and hopefully once you have read this article you’ll feel more comfortable doing so! 
 
Also your vagina isn’t broken — some bodies just take time to adjust to each other. Compatibility isn’t always instant, but with a little patience (and maybe some lube), you can absolutely make it work. Let’s get into it. 👇 

1. First Off, Lube. Lots of Lube.

You might think you’re “wet enough,” but natural lubrication isn’t always enough to handle extra length or girth. A good quality lube reduces friction, making everything feel smoother and more comfortable.

👉 Warming lubes are a game-changer — they increase blood flow and sensitivity, which can help with relaxation and arousal.
👉 Don’t just slap it on and go — use lube as a part of foreplay. Massaging it in can make things feel more intimate and help you relax.
👉 Not sure which lube to go for? Check out our guide on finding the right lube — silicone-based, water-based, hybrid… it’s a whole world out there.

2. Foreplay Is Your Friend

Foreplay isn’t just a warm-up — it’s the key to making your body more receptive to penetration. Increased arousal boosts blood flow and helps the muscles around your genitals relax and stretch more easily.

💦 Orgasms = natural muscle relaxers. If you’re nervous about the main event, try getting off first with a toy like The Magic Wand. The increased blood flow will help reduce discomfort and increase pleasure.
💖 Arousal also helps increase natural lubrication — combine that with some quality lube, and you’re setting yourself up for success.
💡 Pro tip: Focus on clitoral stimulation first — the more turned on you are, the more relaxed your muscles will be.

Make things more comfortable.

3. Try Different Positions

Positioning can make a huge difference when it comes to handling a partners whose dick is too big. Some angles are just more forgiving than others, and being in control can help reduce anxiety and discomfort.

🍑 Cowgirl (on top) is a winner because you control the depth and speed — if it’s too much, you can adjust without the risk of surprise “bottoming out.”
🐶 Doggy style can work well too, but try adjusting the angle by propping up your hips with a pillow or using a position pillow (like the ones from Sportsheets) to make it more comfortable.
🛋️ Missionary with a pillow under your hips — this can help open up your pelvic floor and reduce strain if depth is the issue. If the pillow doesn’t cut it, check out these positioning wedges from Sportsheets

👉 The key is to experiment — what works for one body might not work for another. Don’t be afraid to shift things around mid-session. 

4. Bumpers — Because Sometimes It’s Just Too Long

If the issue is more about length than girth, there’s a clever little invention called the Ohnut that can save the day.

Ohnut Buffer Rings Wider

$109.95

PAINFUL SEX? MEET OHNUT. Also available in wider. See below for sizing recommendations. Soft, stretchy, and oh-so-comfy, Ohnut is a simple and convenient way to...… read more

🍩 The Ohnut is a stackable soft ring that goes around the base of the penis, essentially “shortening” the length without killing the vibe. It acts as a soft buffer, so if your partner is going too deep, the Ohnut creates a comfortable stopping point. You can adjust the number of rings to customize the depth — more rings = less length.

👉 If penetration feels like it’s hitting your cervix (ouch), the Ohnut can seriously improve your comfort levels.

5. Relaxation and Breathing Techniques

Tension is the enemy of comfort — if your pelvic floor is tense, penetration is going to feel way more intense (and not in a good way).

🧘‍♀️ Try some deep belly breathing while you’re warming up — it helps relax the muscles around your vagina and makes it easier to accommodate more.
🚿 A warm bath or shower beforehand can also help your muscles relax.

👃🏼Try relaxing scents like mood mist sprays and incense!
🖐️ If you’re still feeling tense, gentle vaginal massage (or even using a dilator) before sex can help loosen things up.

You don't finish in the bedroom. 

6. Don’t Skip the Aftercare

We don’t talk about aftercare enough when it comes to penetrative sex — but if things have been intense (in a good or bad way), checking in with your body afterward is important. Having a partner whose dick is too big isn't the only reason you should check in with your body and your partner after sex.

🩹 Pee after sex to avoid UTIs — yes, even if you’re tired.
🧴 A bit of after sex care oil like the bald cat
🤗 Cuddle, communicate, and check in — it helps you both feel connected and gives you a chance to talk about what worked (or what didn’t).

7. Communication Is Key

At the end of the day, the most important thing is being able to talk openly with your partner. If something hurts or feels off — say something! A partner worth keeping will listen and adjust.

🤝 Let them know what feels good and what doesn’t.
🤝 Take breaks if you need to — there’s no prize for powering through discomfort.
🤝 Keep experimenting — sometimes it takes a few tries to figure out what works best for your body.

Bottom line: Bigger doesn’t have to mean painful. With a little patience, a lot of lube, and some creative positioning, you can turn that “too big” problem into an “oh yes” solution. 👏

 Small Side Note for Size Queens:

If you discover that you actually like the challenge of accommodating something larger — there are toys and training options that can help you adjust comfortably over time. But that’s another article! 😉 For those who are worried their partner's dick is too big, hopefully this has helped you find some inspiration to live your best sex life!