Sub drop and Top drop.

What is sub drop? After an intense scene it is normal for some participants to feel a sort of come down, known as sub drop, dom drop or 'The Mondays'. Let's look at what happens inside our body when we engage in BDSM play. Often we look at the outside, what muscles and skin feel during a scene - the sensations, scratches, lines and bruises that appear on the skin. But BDSM play can go a lot deeper. There are biological and chemical responses that take place, some are instant and others can appear 2 or 3 days later.

TL;DR:

1. Engaging in BDSM play can trigger biological and chemical responses in the body, such as the release of dopamine, adrenaline, and serotonin.
2. After the chemicals have been released, there can be a "drop" in energy levels and mood.
3. Drop can look different for each person and can include feeling low energy, fatigued, irritable, or depressed.
4. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with sub drop, but some methods include eating sugar, drinking water, seeking cuddles, or talking to a partner or friend.
5. Tops can also experience drop, and communication is key to ensuring both parties are supported.
6. It is normal to experience drop and the feelings associated with it are valid.

When engaging in BDSM play the pleasure, pain, and in some instances fear receptors, are activated in the brain. In turn this releases the chemicals dopamine, adrenaline and serotonin, this rush of feeling is what many practitioners seek and in some can cause a "sub-space" feeling.

But what goes up must come down, after all these good feeling chemicals have been released in they go back down, drop, to their normal levels. For some people this happens overnight and they wake up the next day feeling normal. For others this can slowly go down over the next few days. Everyone's body is different and can react differently every time they play.

Drop can happen to bottoms, brats, subs, littles, master, mistresses, tops, doms and everything in between. The general terms of sub drop or top drop are all-encompassing and just refer to the chemical process that leads to the feeling no matter gender, age, identity or role.

For some people drop can look like feeling lethargic, fatigued and/or irritable. For others it can be feeling depressed, questioning why they like playing the way they do, feeling like a bad person because they like BDSM play, feeling needy and/or childlike. Others might experience all of these or their own special brew. Not everyone will have to navigate this experience and if they do it might not happen after every session. The type of play someone engages in and their experience with drop, or lack thereof, is valid and normal.

There are some tried and tested ways to help with drop but there is no one size fits all approach. Some people like to have lollies or chocolate to increase their energy levels, others like coffee; some people want cuddles, others want to be alone; some like to talk it out and debrief, others just want to get on with the day like normal. Like many things, you have to trust your gut on what you need in that moment, if it doesn’t help, do something else. Eventually you will find what works best for you.

I have my own little “Drop survival kit” sitting in my bedroom for if I need it. It has skittles, notes reminding me to drink plenty of water, some chocolates and smiley face stickers inside the box to brighten my day. This is works for me, so I restock it after I use it and keep it ready to go. I often don’t need to approach others for comfort in these moments, I sit in bed, watch a tv show, sip on water and eat my skittles… Normally I’ll be fine in an hour or so. But this is my process, some people need more reassurance and support, other people have a shower and go about their day just like normal.

Before engaging with a partner be clear with what is expected before, during and after a scene, If communication or check ins feel important then that needs to be conveyed to the partner, they cannot be expected to know what is expected of them if they haven't been told. Experiencing drop as a top is valid, tops expel a lot of energy and the same chemicals go through their body. Communicating needs is how they can be fulfilled, it is important for both partners to convey what they need.

When I top I always message the person who bottomed for me the next day, I want to check they are okay, and see if they need any emotional support. I also want to provide an open forum where they can tell me if they didn’t like a certain part of the play or if they want to do something different next time. I am always happy to have constructive criticism from the people I play with, that is the only way we learn and grow. When I bottom I am normally fine but if I do want to touch base I will just message the top and tell them thank you, I really liked ABC or ABC was so much fun or hey next time can we do this differently or thanks but your play style doesn’t fit me and I would like to be friends with no play in the future. Communication is key.

No matter how drop effects you or doesn’t, the way you feel is valid and normal. You are not alone when it comes to these feelings after play. This huge rush of chemicals, energy and feelings have just gone through your whole body, take a breath and look forward to the next scene.