What Is the Male Loneliness Epidemic?

I've been hearing this phrase a lot lately “the male loneliness epidemic.” At first, it just sounded kind of sad. I pictured a bunch of young men with no close friends, feeling unsure about how to connect with women, spending most of their time doom-scrolling through TikTok and Hinge...

Why Are So Many Men Feeling Lonely?

In all fairness I'm pretty gullible when it comes to peoples plights like this you see this stuff everywhere, and my first reaction was one born from some personal experience around feeling isolated. 

The Role of COVID and Social Isolation

After Covid, most people my age were pretty happy to just never leave the house again! It took months for my partner and I to want to meet up with friends and only now (in 2025) are we actually enjoying being in public again! 

Is the Male Loneliness Epidemic Being Weaponized?

But I digress. I started doing a bit of digging and quickly noticed a particular group of young men sounding the alarm over this so-called “Male Loneliness Epidemic.” And honestly, it set off a few alarm bells for me, especially when I realized many of them were blaming women for their isolation. 

When Loneliness Turns Into Blame

That’s when it started to feel less like genuine concern and more like another round of red pill or manosphere propaganda.

Now, look, I’m not here to judge anyone for what they believe. If you want to be a flat earther or deny the moon landing, go for it. Good on you for questioning mainstream narratives. But I’ll tell you what: when your “beliefs” start putting other people in danger, or start brainwashing an entire generation into thinking that something deeply complex can be reduced to lazy finger-pointing, that’s when I think, maybe it’s time to put pen to paper and add my two cents.

Are Women and Gender-Diverse People Lonely Too?

Here's the thing, people are more lonely these days then they used to be. Social media is actually isolating a lot of people and there is this whole conversation around the "loss of the third place", all these things are contributing to a feeling of isolation. However, this doesn't only affect men and boys, women are also feeling more isolated; "In 2023, an estimated 15% of Australians (15% of males and 16% of females) were experiencing loneliness according to the HILDA survey". 

It doesn't take a Social Scientist to figure out that a lot of women are likely isolating themselves in part due to the growing risk of intimate partner violence (IPV), however, apparently it did... The Australian Government had this to say in 2023: 

"The experience and threat of violence significantly curtails women's safety and equality, limiting their full and equal participation in public and private life as well as their health, wellbeing and economic outcomes. If women and gender diverse people are not safe, they are not equal."
Respondent, public survey, April 2023

How Masculinity Plays a Role in the Male Loneliness Epidemic

So where is all this talk about the “Male Loneliness Epidemic” coming from, and why aren’t we hearing the same from women or gender-diverse folks?

Well, the answer’s not exactly simple. But current research is pointing toward something pretty big: masculinity, or at least the version of masculinity we’ve been sold, might be part of the problem.

Now, let me say this upfront: there are plenty of people out there who think we’re being too hard on boys, or that the whole “toxic masculinity” conversation has gone too far. Maybe they’re right, maybe they’re not. But the truth is, there are aspects of traditional masculinity that can seriously feed into feelings of isolation.

We're talking about traits like emotional suppression, hyper-independence, and competition over connection. These qualities aren’t inherently “bad,” but when they’re held up as the only way to be a man, that’s when problems start. Because they can make it harder to ask for help, express vulnerability, or form deep, meaningful relationships. And over time, that adds up to a whole lot of lonely.

The Problem With Emotional Isolation

According to Nick Norman in an article on Psychology Today, "masculinity has become tied to an unrealistic individualism." He goes on to say that men often don’t receive the kind of emotional support they need from their male friends, and that the mental load of this imbalance frequently gets passed onto their female partners. 

The core issue is that many men aren’t well-practiced in expressing their emotions or articulating their needs. This often leads to two extremes: vague, unclear discussions of their struggles followed by a refusal to accept help, or full-blown trauma dumping. And really, who wants to be in that kind of relationship? According to the research; not women. And honestly, who can blame them?

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This was so fascinating to me! Why conservative men lie about being conservative when dating is crazy!

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So, What Can Men Actually Do?

The Male Loneliness Epidemic is a men's problem, but its not that simple. Changing the behavior of an entire gender is not something that can be done overnight and the expectation that we can is really part of the problem. The argument from the "I'm lonely and it's your fault" camp is that there is just so much negativity thrown at boys and young men these days. This is actually pretty valid, the issue is that most men dont seem to realize that the patriarchy affects them negatively as much as it does women. 

The expectations men have laid at their own feet is oppressive in its own way, if we could just get out of our own way and start developing more meaningful relationships with other people everything would be fine right... right? 

Well yes and no, but its nice to dream right.

5 Things You Can Do to Feel Less Lonely

1. Call a Friend

Seriously, calling a friend is one of the most underrated things you can do. I’ve got two mates I regularly chat with, and sometimes I even call my dad (though that’s not always as helpful). The important thing to understand here is this: a lot of men confuse loneliness with horniness. But nah bro, you probably just need to spill some tea with your mates. And hey, your mates don’t even have to be men, in fact, if you’re just starting out, it’s often easier if they aren’t.

2. Practice Being Vulnerable (Talk About Your Feelings)

This one’s huge. It might feel more comfortable to open up in therapy or with a close female friend or sibling, but there’s nothing stopping you from calling a good mate and saying, “Hey man, I’ve been feeling pretty shitty and just need someone to talk to.” Vulnerability gets easier with practice, but you’ve got to start somewhere.

3. Ask for Help (and Accept It)

Asking for help might be the last thing a so-called “traditional” man wants to do. But it’s powerful. When I’ve got a project on the go at home, I call a few mates and rope them in. Guys are often great at offering help, but terrible at asking for it. So change that. Offer something in return, a meal, a beer, a hand on their next job, and build the kind of friendships that go both ways.

4. Make Friends with Women (Friend-Zone Yourself on Purpose)

If you want to get better at emotional connection, get better at being friends with women. No, not as a secret strategy to date them later, just as actual platonic friends. Learning how to be a good friend to women is a skill that’ll help you maintain strong relationships down the track, (with any gender). It'll also provide a little perspective and help build some genuine empathy skills. Some of the healthiest romantic relationships may grow out of genuine friendship, however this shouldn't be the goal when making friends with women, It’s not about “earning” love, it’s about learning intimacy.

5. Get Therapy

If you’re feeling lonely, therapy is a great place to start. Yes, you’re technically paying someone to listen to you, and for that hour, they kinda do have to be your friend, but it’s more than that. Therapy gives you a chance to explore what’s behind the loneliness and how to sit with solitude in a healthy way. Use this time to work on yourself, grow, and start building stronger connections outside the therapist’s office too.

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Final Thoughts on the Male Loneliness Epidemic

Let’s be real, if you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re a man who’s feeling isolated and tired of hearing that you’re the problem. And while it’s true that some personal growth may be part of the solution, that doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you're human, and like the rest of us, shaped by the pressures of the patriarchy.

Here’s the thing: the patriarchy doesn’t just harm women and gender diverse folk, it affects everyone, including men. It teaches emotional suppression, discourages vulnerability, and shames connection. But once we understand that this system is hurting all of us, we can begin to unlearn it and build something better.

The Male Loneliness Epidemic isn’t a personal failing. It’s a cultural problem, and change starts with compassion, community, and a willingness to grow.