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Is Masturbation Healthy?

Today we're talking masturbation, is it healthy? Can I do it with my Partner? What are the benefits? How often should I do it? Should I do it at all? Do I have to do it at all? There are a number of reasons you should get to know your body and what you do or don’t want sexually, masturbation has amazing benefits, not just to your sexual health but to your overall health, for everybody. But we know it’s not the easiest topic to talk about with your peers, that’s why we’re here to let you know you don’t need to be embarrassed and to pass on a few tips.

So, let’s dive in!

What Is Masturbation

A silly question you might think, but masturbation can be anything from physical stimulation of the Penis or Clitoris, or something as simple as the rubbing of nipples or inner thighs. Basically, if you’re getting sexual stimulation from physically arousing yourself, then you’re masturbating!

You’re not the only one!

Even today there is still a lot of taboo around self-pleasure, and for some, it’s embarrassing or shameful to admit to doing for reasons ranging from cultural and social upbringing to believing their sexual wants or needs fall outside the “norm, but guess what? Almost everyone does it, and for good reason. There are many horrible “out of date” myths about masturbation being harmful on a physical level or damaging to your sexual drive and ability, but according to modern science, this is simply false! In fact, masturbation is one of the best ways to increase your libido and sexual confidence and get to know your body. The interest in how our genitals work and the pleasure we get from them is seen in ages from childhood right up through teens and into adulthood, even as you get older the benefits only get better! Even if you have a partner and a great sex life together that shouldn’t deter you from having a healthy masturbation routine, in fact, you and your partner could even do it together, but we’ll get to that later.

Why Should I Masturbate

Why Should I do it?

Firstly, if your single, it’s a lot safer than having sex with unknown partners; There is no risk of sexually transmitted infections or unplanned pregnancy.

It’s also a great way to explore yourself sexually. We believe everyone should be empowered enough to know what they want sexually, but it may be especially important for women. Too many women come into our shop at Adult Bliss and tell us they have never had an orgasm, but have never masturbated (this doesn’t surprise us, according to a study by the University of Wisconsin-Madison the “orgasm gap” in 2016 saw only 63% of women having experienced orgasms compared to 85% of men). If you don’t know what you like or what helps you reach orgasm how is anyone else meant to? Explore yourself, regardless of your gender, sexual orientation or sexual history and experience, try new things, position yourself differently or even buy a toy. There are many products on the market that can help you explore your sexual needs and desires.

For men, there are more traditional toys like the Fleshlight, but these days there are also many other masturbators for solo masturbation and even couple play. It’s also worth noting not to forget the P-Spot, anal play isn’t for everyone but there’s a whole other world of pleasure up there. Check out our blog on Sexual Stamina to see the vast range of benefits of male masturbators and toys.

For women, the world is your oyster; the sheer range of toys out there can be overwhelming, but we suggest starting off small, grab yourself a bullet or pebble, something rechargeable will last longer and be a lot better quality, but if your starting out, something battery-operated might be a better way to go. A really good product to keep an eye out for is Lady Bonnd Erryn,  She is a powerful and smooth rechargeable medium-sized vibrator great for first-time penetration due to her modest size and perfect for external clitoral stimulation. On the other hand if you feel like you already know what you are after then check out some of these higher-end brands Fun Factory, Nalone or We-Vibe, Happy Rabbit, all are great products and not super expensive for what you are getting!

Other sexual benefits include releasing sexual tension, being familiar with your own sexual responses helps you communicate them to your partner better, increases libido and sexual stamina; for women helping to achieve orgasm and for men learning to prolong ejaculation “again men refer here to see our sexual stamina article”.

Masturbation can also have effects on other aspects of your life, for example, it relaxes your muscles and mind by releasing endorphins which are hormones that block pain and make you feel good giving you a sense of physical and mental wellbeing. It can help you fall asleep, reduces stress levels and enhances self-esteem.

How Often Should I do it?

There is no set limit on how often you should or should not do it. The best way to know if you’re overdoing it is to make sure you haven’t changed your lifestyle to fit it in. If you’re passing up sex with a partner or calling in a sickie to stay home and rub one out, then you might want to consider cutting back. Some studies suggest as often as 5 times a day can be good for you, once/twice a day or once a week, it’s really up to you. Your private time doesn’t have to be limited to a place or time of day either, do it in the shower, in bed before you go to sleep, or the best when you wake up before the alarm! What a way to start the day!

It’s also a great time to give yourself the ol’ check-up, once a month gets down there and feel around. The better you know your own genitals the more likely you are to know when something is wrong. If you notice any sudden changes, bumps, lumps, growths, changes in discharge or secretions, anything like that, go straight to your doctor! Don’t hesitate to get it checked out, better safe than sorry right? Your body is your best friend so look after it.

 

Why not call a friend or go 50/50?

There is no reason you can’t do this with your partner. In fact, some couples find mutual masturbation an amazingly in-depth and extremely personal experience!  Do it right there next to each other in bed or ring your partner up while they’re away for a little phone sex! It might be a little awkward at first, and you might even need to try it a few times to find your rhythm with each other, but practice makes perfect and it can be a very deep and fulfilling experience!

Don’t listen to the naysayers, flickin’ the bean, buffin’ the muffin, choking the chicken, doing the five-finger shuffle, beating your meat and riding the creamy wave is the best and it's good for you so go ahead give it a try.

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Sexual Stamina, it’s not just about what’s in your pants!

sexual stamina for men

For a lot of men, maintaining an erection or putting of climax isn’t as easy as it should be. A lot of studies have focused on anxiety being a major factor in a lack of sexual stamina, we will get to that in a bit. For now, we are going to delve into a few things that we can do as men to increase our sexual stamina.

A lack of sexual stamina is a problem that plagues a lot of men, and most guys might even think that it doesn’t matter all that much, well it doesn’t matter if you and your partner are satisfied with your sex lives, if that’s not the case however longer-lasting sex might help reinvigorate the relationship! Now we aren’t talking about night long sack sessions, we are talking about maintaining and controlling our erection and climax! Remember some women don’t need a penis or penetration to achieve climax, so it’s important to find other things you can do to make the experience more rewarding for both of you.

banner Guy going down

Oral sex and for play:

For play, for some women, is essential to sexual satisfaction, this can come in the form of a massage, a passionate make-out session, a nice bath, or even just lighting some candles and burning some oils “ I strongly suggest the Donna range by Jo or wildfire”. Set the mood for her, make her feel comfortable and loved and she will open up to you on another level. This will not only increase her level of sexual satisfaction but will also increase yours!

Another great way to do this is with
your tongue, going down on your partner can bring them to climax before you even start having penetrative sex. This can help remove some of your anxieties about the length of time you can last while giving your partner the attention they need. If you or your partner aren’t interested in oral sometimes getting a toy is the next best thing. There are a number of bullets and small vibrators on the market, and there are also some awesome couples’ toys like
the we-vibe sync which is great for this sort of thing.

Overall Fitness:

Just like any form of stamina, Sexual stamina is strongly affected by your overall fitness. You will find that even if you’re just using your hands and or if you’re in a different position you might get tired. Core strength is a good thing to work on, the longer you can use your core muscles before they get tired the longer you will stay in tune with your partner. If you find your arms get tired when you're propping yourself up or just giving your partner and massage, then maybe you need to increase your dexterity. Using a stress ball or even some light dumbbell work can improve this incredibly.

Short from that, it is important to make sure you are well-rested, testosterone is mostly produced during sleep so a night of good night sleep is key to a higher sex drive, avoiding large amounts of unnatural light and over-stimulation like video games or T.V before bed is a good start. Also, cut out coffee and nicotine in the evenings. This will help increase your overall health as well as your sexual performance.

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Male sexual health aids:

In a previous post, we talked about
the benefits of Penis Pumps, I won’t go into it much here but I strongly suggest checking it out as it is a really good read and very related to this topic. They can have a massive effect on sexual performance. I would like to stress that they aren’t just for increasing size but much much more!

Short from that, Stamina Trainers “or Male Masturbators” are a fantastic way to increase your staying power. Male toys like the Pornstar Signature Series, and the Mr. Bonnd Clark are designed to overstimulate the sensitive parts of your Johnston. It is important to have a certain level of self-discipline when using these products, the idea is to train yourself not to cum quickly. With a little lube use these products as directed, and when you feel like you’re about to hit climax, stop!! This is called edging, eventually, you will learn how to do this during sex and it will increase the time it takes for you to reach climax, the closer you can get before you stop the better. This is a more “long term” treatment and can have a lasting effect on your sex life if done properly! Whoever said masturbation was a bad thing right? You can also include your partner in this activity, it will bring you closer together and can also act as foreplay as well!

Prolong creams and sprays:

As a final resort, there are a bunch of different products on the market that will promise you longer and larger erections, now I’m not saying they don’t work but this is a short term solution to a larger problem. I would suggest using them as a part of the previously mentioned stamina training routine. Products like ON Power Glide for him, JO PROlonger for men, seems to be favorited among our customers and have great
reviews online. I have used some of these products and I can say they work for the most part!

There are also herbal supplements that are perfectly safe and legal in most places, Just keep in mind that not all adult stores are on the up and up and its work looking at the TGA or FDA websites to make sure these products aren't being controlled if they are there is a reason for that so stay away!! We need to be careful promoting brands, so what I will say is there is an ingredient list you should look out for that will definitely help:

·Epimedium Sagittatum

· Rhemania

· Cnidium Monnier

· Chinese Ginseng

· Tribulus Terrestris

· Maca

Also, anything with Lyco-pene, Damiana Leaf, ginger, and any vitamins B12, C, D3 can only help so go for it! Overall though I'd say keep up a good cardio routine, improve your diet and stay fit are all great ways to improve your sex life and can also become a healthy activity for you and your partner. Don’t forget to check out our post on Penis Pumps as you might find some really useful stuff in there as well.

You can find all the products mentioned in this blog at www.adultblisserotica.com.au or click on the links throughout the blog for
more info.

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A Basic Guide To Anal

A Basic Guide to Anal Play (for all genders)

 

Everyone has a bum, and inside that bum is a powerhouse of pleasure centers. The anus its self is very complex and whether you own a prostate or not anal sex can be very enjoyable when done correctly, this is a guide to good anal for beginners but we need to touch on a few topics before we dive in!

Firstly and most importantly, just because someone has given you consent to have sex with them, doesn’t mean they have given you consent to have anal sex with them! We have a lot of people come in our store saying things like “my boyfriend really wants to try anal with me but I'm not comfortable with it, how can I make it hurt less for me?” well firstly if your not comfortable with it, you don’t have to do it! Anal sex can be great but if you’re not ready or just not interested then that’s really ok, and your partner needs to respect that!

Is it safe to do? The short answer is yes! But as with everything its best to start off small and work your way up. If your trying to fit a larger than normal phallus inside your bum then things aren’t going to go very well, grab an anal training kit from your local adult store and try it out for your self!

On the “how can I make it not hurt” subject, well anal sex can be uncomfortable at first, but it should never hurt. If it's hurting, then its time to stop or slow down! Here are a few tips to do anal right so its good for everyone!

banner but with pizza

Lube Lube Lube!
Lubricant is so important when it comes to anal sex! We recommend not using a normal water-based lubricant you bought with your sex toys, its best not to use lubricants that are designed to be used for vaginal sex, most of these lubricants are slightly acidic to blend well with the vaginas natural lubrications PH, this is not a great idea for anal play! Try using a simple silicone-based anal lubricant like the JO Premium Anal its nothing fancy and it's perfect for person on person anal sex. If your using a condom (safe sex is good sex even with anal) then use the water based version as some condoms aren’t safe to use with some silicone lubricants.

Should I use numbing sprays?
the short answer… NO! The problem with numbing sprays is that hide the body's natural response to tell you that something is wrong, pain, if you are in pain then it’s a good indication that something is wrong, and you should stop immediately!
On the other hand, relaxing lubricants and sprays like the PJUR Analyse Me or the PJUR Back Door are both great products for people that are feeling a little anxious about anal play, they are designed to relax the muscles in the area and make penetration easier without numbing anything. The other main issue with numbing sprays is that you won’t feel all the amazing sensations that can come with anal and it would be a shame to miss out on that!

Consent and Control:
Its always recommended that the person receiving anal is the one controlling the situation, the pace, and the depth everything is up to the receiver and as always express consent can be withdrawn at any time!

Try finishing on anal rather than starting with it!
feeling a little tense, that’s ok have an orgasm! Orgasm or genital stimulation is a great way to destress and relax your muscles! Anal sex is always going to feel more comfortable after one or two orgasms and it’s a great way to finish what has already been a great and fulfilling sack session!

Worried about making a mess?
For some people, the idea of anal is that it's dirty and messy, this is a normal concern! That’s why we have Anal Douches! It's not such a bad idea to get in there and have a cleanout before and after anal, it's not mandatory but it might help if you know your pipes are clean beforehand. Remember its never a good idea to douche vaginally unless instructed to by your GP or physician, and its best not to douche anally if not necessary as well for the same reasons!

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Kegel’s what the hell are they?

Firstly, why Kegel Exercises?

Image by Continence Foundation of Australia

The pelvic floor is actually a series of muscles between your hips that act as a hammock holding some of your organs in place, these organs include bowel, bladder and some reproductive organs. A weak pelvic floor can be caused by a number of things, in women it can be a Sid effect of giving birth, but in most cases, it is caused by aging or weight gain.

How can we fix this?

Kegel exercises are a muscle movement that you can do pretty much anywhere at any time. The Goal? To strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. The exercise can be a little tricky at first, finding the right group of muscles can be difficult. The best method starts off with an empty bladder, to start this process of identification is to insert a clean figure into the vagina, then try to squeeze the finger with the vaginal muscles without tensing your stomach or thighs. If you are still unsure feel free to contact your GP or gynecologist and see if they can offer any help.

Usually using a device called Ben Wa Balls or Kegel Balls is the best way to find the right muscle group, Kegel Balls are used as a slightly advance method of Kegel training but there is nothing wrong with starting there. There is a really great set of Kegels by Nalone called Yani which we sell a lot of! Lelo does a great set as well. The benefit of these Kegel sets is they have different weighted balls, so you can swap out for something heavier or lighter depending on your skill level. Otherwise, if you into something a little more natural and spiritual you can have a look at Yoni's Range of Crystal Kegel Eggs.

image by the Continence Foundation of Australia

Now, guys, you might be wondering “what about me?” well don’t worry we got you covered! It turns out that the same group of muscles a woman uses to clench the vagina can be used to clinch the anus and this will work out the Kegel “Sling “as well. As far as Ben Wa Balls are concerned it is NOT recommended to use these anally. The reason for this is there usually isn’t a flare on the Kegel Balls, so it is very likely that they might get “lost” this happens all the time and, in most cases, results in a trip to the ER. But don’t fret there are products on the market that have the same weighted bouncy feeling as a Kegel Ball, Marc Dorcel do a hollow plastic butt plug that contains a weighted ball inside for this exact reason.

What are the benefits you ask?

Well apart from the occasional cheeky orgasm that may occur from stimulating the G or P spot, the benefits are enormous:

For the ladies, stronger vaginal muscles can lead to more intense and satisfying orgasms, but even better than that Kegel exercises can combat urinary incontinence, strengthen the bowl and boost your sexual self-esteem. Kegel training is recommended for women who have just given birth due to the massive amount of trauma this area is subject to during the birthing process.

For men the benefits are similar to prostate stimulation, promotion of blood flow to the genital area, more control over orgasms a great way to combat erectile dysfunction (if this is something that you wish to know more about please have a read of our blog on penis pumps). Strong Kegels can also improve sexual stamina with stronger and longer-lasting erections with the added benefit of more powerful orgasms. And lastly for the silver fox’s out there Kegel training can also improve bladder control allowing you to empty your bladder fully without those last-minute dribbles otherwise known as urinary incontinence.

For both men and women the “work out” routine is fairly simple, start buy holding the muscles for up to three second, and try to do 1 – 3 reps of 10. Push that 3 seconds of holding up to about 10 seconds over time and start the smaller reps. Once a day is plenty as overworking these muscles can lead to muscle fatigue leading to worsening the issue we are trying to prevent. Much like anything worth doing its worth doing correctly and will take some time before you see results. Make it a part of your daily routine and in a week or two, you will start to see the pay off take effect.

Yoni Crystal Pleasure Range

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Lubricant, The Best Sex Toy!!

Lube! Such a slippery topic, but we believe not only can lubricant make sex better but it’s probably the easiest “Sex Toy” to introduce into a sexual relationship and for that reason, it's our number one go-to for couples looking for something to spice up their sex lives.

There are many different types of lubricant, from edible flavoured lubes, arousal creams and gels that warm or cool, to the good old silicone lubricant. Here at Adult Bliss we often have people ask, “can’t I just use coconut oil?” the short answer is no, we’ll get into why a little later, but there are definitely some more natural alternatives & hybrid lubes out there. The lubrication industry has come a long way since the good old KY jelly days, so today we are going to focus on some of our most commonly asked questions, starting with:

“What’s the point of lube at all?” This is a fair question so let’s do a quick break down on the top few reasons you should introduce a good quality lubricant into your bedroom.

Sometimes you just need a bit of assistance getting the sexy juices flowing, for those of us with forward-facing downstairs orifices a sudden dryness can occur for many reasons; stress, low libido, menopause, medications, lower than usual estrogen levels, and sometimes just a lack of arousal, we’ll delve more into the topic of vaginal dryness in a later blog. In the meantime, partners, don’t take it personally! Sometimes it’s hard to switch on that faucet even when you are aroused, and that’s ok, and do you know why it’s ok? Because lube, that’s why!

If you or your partner don’t have an issue with getting those natural juices flowing that doesn’t mean you have to deny yourself the sexy, silky, slippery feel that is a good quality lubricant. The right lubricant can really up the ante on a night of passion. But how do you know what sort of lube is right for you?

“What’s the difference between Water Based and Silicone lubricants?!?!”

Silicone:

The properties of Silicone lube allow it to sit on the skin without absorbing in too quickly, providing longer-lasting slipperiness than most water-based lubes. The consistency of silicone lube is usually a bit thicker, making it perfect for anal sex. Unfortunately, it doesn’t wash off very easily as it isn’t soluble in water, this might make it good for shower sex but not so good if you’re hoping for quick clean up afterwards. Silicones slick and slippery hypoallergenic formula is often considered soothing to sensitive areas and can create an almost friction-free sexual experience making it an obvious go-to lubricant for couples and for male masturbation. For women, silicone lube has a very different feel to the natural lubricant provided by the body, so if you’re after a natural feel silicone might not be the lube for you.

But with such a magical sexual liquid available you might ask why you would use anything else. User beware, silicone will stain your clothes and sheets so it’s important to wash it off asap, and unfortunately, a post-coital clean up can be a bit of a mood killer. However, part of what makes silicone a great lube is also its biggest problem. Silicone’s ability to bond to itself doesn’t bode well for your silicone-coated toys, you’ll find combining the two will melt away and warp that expensive velvety silicone coating. While some medical-grade silicone toys are compatible with some silicone lubes, it’s better to be safe than sorry, so pay attention to any tips from the manufacturer when you purchase a silicone lube or toy. It’s absolutely safe to use on plastic or glass toys though, so go for gold.

Water-based:

Water-based (WB) lubricants are usually thinner than silicone, giving it a more natural sensation. While water alone tends to remove the skins natural protective layer over time, the properties of Water-Based lube do quite the opposite, being reported to have a hydrating and moisturising effect as it absorbs slowly into the skin. This does mean that it won't last as long on the skin as silicone lube and may need to be applied a few times throughout your sexy time. Despite this, water-based lubricant is our go-to for use with toys as it won’t damage that delicate silicone coating we talked about before or leave sticky residues on your toys or skin. This makes water-based lube very easy to clean off of toys and skin but means it’s not the right lube for shower sex or any other aquatic sexual activities.

Flavoured and edible lubes are also mostly water-based, these days there are so many fruity and dessert flavoured options available you can turn your nether regions into a sweet delicacy your partner is sure to enjoy. If oral sex or flavoured lube isn’t your thing, but you still want to make the lube experience a little more interesting you can try an arousal lube. These lubes have a variety of effects like cooling, warming or tingling, start off with a small amount and give them time to take effect, too much too quickly might not have the desired effect. Always read the ingredients list and rinse off immediately if you don’t react well to it.

Anal sex enthusiasts probably already incorporate specially designed lubricant into their sexual routine as the anus isn’t self-lubricating like a vagina. For anal penetration a thicker lubricant is recommended, if you’re not into silicone you can get thicker water-based lubes like the System JO H2O anal lubricant which doesn’t contain any desensitisers or numbing agents which we recommend for first time anal explorers as you don’t want to accidentally do damage you can’t feel.

Both silicone and water-based lubes are generally safe to use with condoms and other forms of contraceptives, but it is important to read the ingredient list to make sure there are no nasties in there, if you’re using water-based we recommend ones that are glycerine free, and in general avoid using alternatives like moisturising creams and oils (remember we mentioned coconut oil?) as they damage the latex in condoms, and compromise the skins natural pH balance which can result in unpleasant infections or skin damage.

The benefits of lubrication are numerous, so if you’ve ever thought about introducing something new to the bedroom to spice up your sex life and you’re not ready for toys then lube is a great place to start!

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